we're lazy here on tumblr.
- press J:
- press K:
- press L:
- press ALT+REBLOG:
- press CTRL and the REBLOG button:
- press TAB:
BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:
1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE
2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A
3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE
4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS
5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT
6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD
****
EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS
TAKE OFF FIRE
WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH
CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL
WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES
POUR IT OUT
ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL
VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLEDRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE
CHEERS MATE
CANADIAN VERSION
WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?
OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS
NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.
USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!
SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL
EAT SOME BACON
THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.
DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.
TAKE A SIP.
SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.
REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.
AMERICAN VERSION
FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)
FILL IT WITH TAP WATER
ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER
STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN
DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET
POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE
REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT
ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS
FINNISH VERSION
FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNAIF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG
TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE
GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA
DRINK THE VODKA
FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN
RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA
GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS
NORWEGIAN VERSION
BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE
TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE
DRINK COFFEE
…WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?
SOUTHERN VERSION
GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH
BOIL THAT SHIT
PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER
ADD SUGAR
KEEP ADDING SUGAR
NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET
WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE
(i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)
FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX
ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS
YES
THAT IS EXACTLY HOW MY FATHER’s MOTHER MAKES HER SWEET TEA
(How in the world do I still have teeth, geez)
REAL AMERICAN VERSION
THROW TEA IN HARBOR
I AM DYING. OHMYGOD
Agreeing with the Brits. I mean, you just boil some freaking water, dump a tea bag into a mug, pour boiling water over, let it seep for 10 mins and then add sugar.
HOW HARD IS IT.
SCREW YOU OTHER FUCKING TEA CONNOISSEURS. I MAKE MY OWN TEA HOW I WANT TO.
IN MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA, NOT THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE A BUNCH OF YEARS AGO, AS SHOWN ABOVE:
GO OUTSIDE
THERE WILL BE A CAFE IN EVERY DIRECTION
GO TO ONE
BUY A DRINK
DRINK
DONE
THAT’S RIGHT
(Source: areyoutryingtodeduceme)
Via The Student Syndrome Phenomenon
#A boy genius he enters MIT at the age of 15 to study electrical engineering and computer science
#i like how tony stark is only a genius when he feels like it
(Source: thegloriouspurpose)
Via That Man Is Playing Galaga!
MOTHERFUCKING LITERATURE TEACHER CHANGED THE FUCKING DAY OF THE SAC
TO FUCKING TOMORROW
“You’ve not been in Literature for a while…”
BECAUSE I HAD FUCKING REHEARSALS
AND NOW I HAVE TO PREPARE FOR THE FUCKING SAC
AND FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK
My sentiments exactly.
#the 4th gif tho #let’s get a dog they said it’ll be fun they said
(Source: sleazypete)
Via you don't share me, you own me.




